It has happened.  My son has overtaken me in size.  Just shoe size for now, but if the length of his shorts is any indication, it won’t be long until the size swap is complete.

I recently bought some Converse All-Star gray low-rise sneakers.  When I brought them home I laid them on the kitchen table.  A little while later, my son appears, wearing the shoes, thanking me.

“I really like these.  I never thought about gray, but it’s kinda’ cool!”

As I love the little guy too much, I actually considered going along with it and pretending they were a surprise gift for him.  Alas, I really wanted those things, and had finally bitten the bullet and bought them.

I explained that actually, they were for me.  Luckily, he wasn’t too upset.  But I knew he liked them (let’s be clear, the kid likes shoes.  period.).

“Maybe we can share them!  They’ll be yours, but maybe I can borrow them sometimes.”

Um.  No, little guy.  Boys don’t share clothes with their moms.  Luckily, I could tell he thought it sounded a little awkward as soon as he said it.  Also, I’ve seen your shoes, and I’ve smelled your feet and I wash your socks.  Your laces are frayed and somehow you’ve lost all the insoles, and then there’s this.
These are black suede shoes.  That were put away wet and developed a white, furry fungus that he thought was frost.  In May.


“Well, I’m sure you’d rather pick out something for yourself, so let’s do that, OK?”

Never one to turn down the promise of new shoes, he agreed.

I am reminded of recent conversations at the bus stop concerning sneaker balls and Gold Bond powder and newspaper remedies for foot odor.  And of sleeping in clothes and trying to get out the house wearing those clothes ("But Mom, I took a shower last night -- they're CLEAN.")  And of wearing socks over and over before washing because they like them so much.  Darn you Nike Elites for being so darn expensive and making me do laundry more than once a week!

Share shoes?  God bless your little baby heart you sweet, sweet naive boy.  I will share most anything with you.  I will go to the ends of the earth for you.  But share your shoes??

You must be out of your mind.


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