Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It Must be the Lipstick


I recently received a very nice compliment.  Someone I know told me I always look “so nice…so perfectly put together and just, well, so together!”

HA!

If she only knew.

I will take the fact that she said the same thing twice as a compliment -- a “words escape me” kind of thing (which happens to me so very, very often).    

I thank my parents for the “perfectly put together,” especially my mother.  Even though she made us get dressed up for every little family function and we were always overdressed, sweaty and not wanting to get our white slacks dirty playing baseball when all the other cousins were wearing cutoffs, we LOOKED good.  And I still tend to overdress most of the time.  It could be a southern thing.  Southern lady advice handed down through generations of presentable and perfectly put-together women.  Women who woke up and immediately applied lipstick.

Better to be overdressed than underdressed.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
You always need a little color on your face.
Every girl needs a little sparkle.
Classics are never boring.   And they never, ever go out of style.
If you're ever in an accident, you want your underwear to be presentable.
(this from my grandmother, who was terrified the emergency personnel working to resuscitate her would judge her if her underwear was less than)

Look closely at me today and you will see that my toenail polish half-gone.  You will notice the coffee stain on the bottom of my dress that I tried (unsuccessfully, apparently) to remove in the bathroom with cold water.  And the residue from the paper towel used to rub it out.  At the top of my dress you will see the grid pattern of my ironing board because I used a too-high setting and scorched the fabric.  It’s shiny and puckered.  My hair is super flat and it doesn't move.  On the advice of a stylist I decided to just wash it every OTHER day, and condition the ends on my non-wash days.  Only I used too much conditioner and it’s pulling everything down so my hair is flat and…filmy is the only way I can describe it.  It's like it melted.  Dry shampoo didn’t help, in fact I think it made things worse.  And itchy.  I was so distraught over my  hair this morning and getting the kids dressed and doing some final cramming for a 3rd grade food chain test that I may or may not have brushed my teeth.  I hope there’s gum in my purse.

Maybe my friend is myopic.  Maybe SHE'S a mess and I look good by comparison.  Maybe I’m the only one who’s looking closely enough to see the mess that I am.  Maybe she got a look at me and was trying to make me feel better.  Maybe it IS all about lipstick.  I dunno.  I am, literally, chaos in high heels this morning.  Maybe I should stop trying to analyze it and feel flattered.

Who doesn't love a compliment?  

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