Friday, September 25, 2015

Morning Coffee and T

"Mom, can you take me out to buy some clay?  I want to sculpt things like Michelangelo.  And after that, can we go to Guitar Center and see if they have Cellos?  Wait, how much do Cellos cost?"

That was Wednesday, the only day of the week where there currently is NOTHING going on and I was looking forward to hitting the gym.  Guess where I went instead?

In the mornings, I have coffee and time with just my little T, something I haven't had since he was in preschool.  The other two, being in middle school, leave the house an hour before he does, and it's amazing how quiet this child is.  But, there's also plenty of conversation.  Such as...

"Are skin cells the only ones that regenerate?"
"Well, I finally found out how Microsoft got its name."
"Do we have any denatured alcohol?  I want to try to separate the DNA from a banana."
"What is denatured alcohol?"
"So I've been researching fencing lessons..."
"Was Steve Jobs married?"
"I understand about squaring numbers, but how to you square MC, because you can't square letters."
"Wait, is that algebra?  Algebra sounds cool, like a puzzle."
"I wonder what it would be like to be Albert Einstein."
"What are aerosols?  And, if they're damaging the ozone, then wouldn't our atmosphere be escaping, but without atmosphere the earth would be getting colder, so why do they call it global warming?"
"Are there bullies in college?"

I sip my coffee and listen.  I answer when I can.  And nod my head in agreement.  Often we Google the answers, and sometimes we just guess and discuss.  Afterwards, he hugs me goodbye and runs off to the bus, and I go back inside to reflect on our conversation and just how much I love this little boy with the big questions.

So how do you start your day?!?

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

She's Off

"Are you going to walk me to the bus stop?”

“No.  You don’t need me to.  And trust me, you don’t want me to.”

“But…” a little flash of panic in her eyes.

“You’re in middle school.  You got this.”

And she does.  But, my Little Meems doesn’t love change, and heading off to middle school is a big one.  

This is a little girl who still likes to hold my hand.  Even though she’s 12, and probably shouldn’t want to, I let her, because one day she won’t want to.  I say little because she is, but also she isn’t.  She and I are stuck somewhere between the lands of big and little and we’re trying to meet in the middle, but sometimes we miss each other.  She wants to be independent, yet she wants me to do everything for her.  I want her to not need me so much, yet I want her to still value my help and opinions.  So it goes with preteens, I guess.

This popped up in my Facebook feed on Monday.  My memory from 5 years ago, when she entered first grade.  

This is now.  Although the first picture is how I will always see her.

She is still missing teeth.  She still favors turquoise nail polish.  The hair is curly (although we have discovered the straightening iron), the eyes are big, the dimples are bigger.  I miss that little face.  I miss stealing sugar from the sweet spot between her neck and chin.  

I sent this to her last night.  I want her to read it every day.  

The bus came and went without incident this morning.  I watched from the hidden safety of our garage, so I could be there with her, just not with her.

She’ll be fine.  

Will I? 

Sure.  But I’m gonna go have a little cry now if you don’t mind.