Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Marble Story

When Will was 2 and Little Meems was a baby, I decided to go back to work full-time.  It wasn't on my radar, necessarily, but my dream job presented itself and hired me and, well, how often does that happen?

One day Will brought home a steel marble from daycare.  Which confused me...why would a daycare have steel marbles?  But apparently it had escaped from one of the toys in the older kids' classroom and made its way to my by-then 3-year-old.  I took it away from him and put it  in my purse to give to the director.  Somehow, he found it.  Because that's what three-year-olds do.

The next day, when I picked him up, I was met with a tearful, contrite little boy and a concerned teacher who explained to me that he had swallowed a steel marble.  That he had brought from home (insert condescending, judgemental look here).  Which reminded me, I was supposed to give it to the daycare director and tell her all about it.  Ooops.

On the way home, he was beside himself, asking what might happen to him and if he would die and how would they get it out and would they have to cut him open?  I tried to calm him down, but hey, I had never had any swallowing foreign objects experience so I was a little panicked myself.

I called the doctor, explained my situation, and was both relieved and concerned that they didn't need to do an X-ray (Remember, he's my oldest.  So yes, I fell victim to first-time-mom syndrome).

"He'll pass it."

"You mean, in his poop?"  Of COURSE that's what they meant.  Come one, when was the last time someone peed a steel marble?

"Well...yes."  Obviously he was dealing with an idiot.  Or a first-time mom.

"How?"  Did I really just say that?

"Well, you know, in his excrement."  Said ever so delicately.  Why can't they just say poop?  I'm a lot more comfortable with that than "excrement."

"But how do you know?"  Again, my idiocy astounded me.  Ever wanted to eat your words as soon as you said them?

"You'll have to look for it."

"Won't I be able to spot it?  It was pretty big, I think."

"Not necessarily.  You really want to try to inspect to make sure it passes.  I wouldn't worry, he should pass it within a couple days."

That was 7 years ago and I still don't know if he passed it.   I did LOOK at his poops for a couple days, but while I'm down with baby poop, I draw the line with having to fish something out of a toilet to inspect it.  The logistics alone are prohibitive...what do I use, a slotted spoon? What do I put it IN to look through it?  And what tools do I use to inspect my specimen?  

The marble was round, he's never had any issues, so yup, he passed it.

I hope.

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