Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Happy Enough

Update:  Little Meems didn’t get the solo.

And thus, the little thing had her very first heartbreak.

As a parent, you wish you could shield your children from this.  You can’t. 

The news was announced Friday morning at school.  Her best friend got the part, and she was so excited for her!  She held it in all day…

…and then broke down walking home from the bus stop.

The thing is, I don’t know if she ever would have said anything if her dad hadn’t asked her.  Brave little thing.  Trying so hard, STILL, not to cry. 

But it was too much.  And no one should have to suffer heartbreak alone. 

She had a good cry, followed by some chocolate and girl time shopping.  Things got a little better.  Things always look better after chocolate.

She’s happy for her friend, so happy that on Saturday, she bought her friend a gift.  With her own money. 

And she decided to try out for a speaking part.  That’s my girl!

Yesterday, she told me she wasn’t going to try out after all.  Concerned that she had become afraid of taking that risk, and wanting to encourage her to not be discouraged by this little setback, I gently asked her why.

“Because, I’m getting to do all the things I love in the show…the singing and dancing…and that makes me happy.”

"Are you sure?  Are you worried you won't get the part?"

"I'm sure.  I don't think it would make me happier...well maybe it would, but I'm really happy just the way it is."

In our parental quest to push our children toward achievement, do we ever stop to consider that good enough is OK?  That happy enough is a good thing, and not somehow a deficit?  Yes, I want my children to aspire to great things.  I want to push them toward greatness if I can.  I want to encourage them to try and teach them that living with the disappointment of failure is far better than living with regret.  BUT, ultimately, I want them to find their happiness.  I want them to appreciate simple pleasures and the gifts they have and be content with the everyday joys of life...in this case, singing and dancing.

Would getting a speaking role make her happier?  Possibly.  Would losing that role break her heart even more?  Certainly.  Will she regret not trying?  Perhaps.

But, to know where your happy place is and be utterly content to live there just the way it is?  How can I find fault with that?

Besides, she's 9.  She has plenty of time to aspire and dream big.  To try and succeed, or try and fail.  

And so I'll let her be happy enough.  Because that is, truly, enough.

Via




1 comment:

Sundresses and Smiles said...

You bring up such good points that are relevant in life at ANY age! Sometimes we can get so caught up in "accomplishments" on paper, that we lose sight of the little accomplishments and things to be grateful for in life!