Friday, September 9, 2011

Independence Day

This week, my little T man started kindergarten.

As my friend Celia says, it's a little boohoo and a little woohoo.

He's my baby and I'm not ready for him to be so grown up.  The fact that he IS so grown up means that the other two are REALLY grown up.

That's the boohoo.

Truth is, I've had a child at home and no more than 2.5 hour chunks of time to myself for 10 years.  And I am ready for a little "me" time.  WOOHOO!

So, seeing as I work Tuesday through Thursday, and Monday was a holiday (and they hadn't yet started school), today was my very first day of no kids.  For 7 whole hours.

No car line pickups, no negotiating naps, no running around like a crazy woman trying to get all my errands done in 2 hours.

I have awaited and anticipated this day for so long.  Independence Day.

So here's how it went down.  Hold on to your seats, people.  You're in for a bumpy ride.

1.  Wake up everyone extra early to take Meems to her tutor's before school.

2.  Shove Pop Tarts down their throats, yank brushes through their hair and show extreme irritation that W forgot his backpack three times.  And to wear shoes.  And to get his lunchbox, which he had taken out of his backpack for some odd reason.  I think it was after he asked me what I had packed him and he was checking to make sure...that I wasn't lying???

3.  Get Meems situated with her tutor while I deal with two very bored little boys who don't have anything to do despite the fact that I told them at least 11 times to bring something to do.  Yes it's my fault they are bored.

4.  Drive back to school.  What's with all the police?  Answer a million questions of this nature that I don't know the answer to, explain that it's probably NOT a robbery or a mob hit (do you know what that is?  no.  then don't say it).  Finally, it's time to drop them off.

5.  The children are wild at this point.  Curse you Pop Tarts!  They are talking a mile a minute and hanging out the window talking incessantly and asking me questions that are getting more and more ridiculous by the second.  Or maybe that was my perception because THEY WOULDN'T OPEN THE SCHOOL.  And I've been waiting for this for 10 years.

6.  I'm literally shoving them out of the car when they get to the door, with a sugary sweet "bye babies, love you too much, mwah" that I'm sure they didn't believe.  GETOUTOFTHEDAMNCAR.  Please.

Now, there's a caveat here.  Yes, I was ready for them to just GO because I was ready for them to just GO ALREADY, but also the sushi I had for dinner last night was doing the samba with the coffee I drank this morning and, well, let's just say I needed to get home.

7.  Toast myself some waffles.  I never have time to eat those and I am starving.  Eggos, because I am a gourmet.

8.  Talk to my mom on the phone.

9.  Shower.  No shaving because that takes too much time.

10.  Out the door.  Daggone, why is everyone driving so slowly?  Run a couple errands, then off to meet the aforementioned Celia for lunch.  The most exciting thing ever!!!  I'm running late, but that's OK because it means I missed the craziness that surrounded the President's speaking engagement here.  Yes, THAT President.  Which explains the police.

11.  Lunch with a long-time bestie in Carytown.  No rushing.  No looking at my watch (although I did because I'm not used to not rushing -- bad habit.  must break.).

12.  A little stroll and a little shopping.  Beautiful day, finally not raining, and no children means I can go in any store I want and spend as long as I want.  I even made myself NOT go in stores that sold stuff for them.  I drooled over some Hudson jeans, Frye boots, American Apparel gold lame tube dress (just kidding), jewelry, a linen and green alligator faux Kelly bag, and some rainbow hued skinny jeans.

13.  Take my time getting home.  I plan on ingesting a Tums and then some ice cream while I sit, watching Secrets of a Stylist, until it's time for T's open house/meet the teacher thingy.

14.  Remember that the dog is out of food and run off to Target.  Shoot, the gas tank is on E.  But the ice cream calls and the sitting and I decide I'll coast on fumes until later.

15.  Tums and ice cream.  'Nuff said.

16.  T's meet the teacher thingy.  So fun to see him in big school.  He is all hugs and kisses and "miss you mommy."  He proceeds to give me a tour around his classroom that consists of every little thing.  He explains to me that the big hulking desk is where the teacher works.  And introduces me to Mr. Chalkboard.  And explains that "these are hooks, they are where our backpacks go."  And because it's all new to him, it's all new to me and I love every minute.  Especially because he's holding my hand the entire time.

17.  Round up the other two.  I am glad to see them.  No, really, I am.

18. Get home.  Pour myself a glass of wine.  It's only 4:30, but what the heck.  I did the back-to-school week all by myself.  Call my sister.  She is not ready for a glass of wine.  Instead, she is scooping dog poop out of the yard while she talks to me.  I tell her she might be taking the multi-tasking thing a bit too far.  She doesn't agree.

19.  Write.  The perfect end to the perfect day.  Even if it doesn't make sense to anybody but me.  The writing that is.

20.  TBD

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