Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pimples

I have yet to have basic anatomy talks with my growing children.  Now that they're 9, 7 and 5, I am aware that this is a conversation we need to have soon, but honestly, the way they love "potty talk" (you know -- poop, fart, barf, penis, etc.) the LAST thing I have wanted to do was introduce new words into their repertoire.  Especially horrifying words like va the "v" word.  So, for now, because they haven't really asked, I am 100% fine having my daughter believe that she just has a plain, old, uncomplicated bottom. 

The other day, my son informed me that he has nibbles.  And though I pretended to feign ignorance, I knew he'd been talking to the little boy down the street. 

"Say what?"
"Nibbles.  And you have them too."
"What are nibbles?"
"You know" (making circles around his, well, his nibbles)
"Oh.  Nipples.  And who told you about nipples?"
"H"
"Of course."
"Dad has nibbles too T." That's the 9-year-old chiming in.  Contributing his worldly and vast knowledge of human anatomy.  He IS 9 after all.  He KNOWS things.

I tried to correct them again, but it was too late.  I had lost my lesson to a peal of hoots and hollers and repeated "nibbly nibnibs" among the kids. 

A few days later, the little one cornered me again, this time while we were reading.
"Mom, how come mommies have big boobies?"
"Because, that's how they feed their babies."
"I don't have them, and daddy doesn't have them, because we're boys."
"That's right."
"I have pimples."
"Huh?"
"Pimples.  You know.  They have the NIBBLES on them."

Geesh Mom.  Don't you know ANYTHING?

Am I deficient as a mother because I won't go there?  I feel like these are conversations I need to have with them privately, but honestly, no one's seemed interested in knowing more than they already do, so why stir the pot?  Like I said, all I need is for their lexicon to NOW include words like the "v" word and "breasts" (another word I hate...what's wrong with me?). 

When they've outgrown the potty talk, they can know the real words.  Keep 'em little until they're not little any more. 

Right?

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