Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year's Resolutions. And Revelations.

I'm a list maker.  I try very hard to be a list keeper too, but I have to face facts (and those who know me can attest) organization is not my strong suit.  I'm a mess, really, and luckily I can blame it on three children and a husband who's always out of town so I have to do everything myself and I'm totally overwhelmed, but the reality is that I can't really blame anyone.  Or, rather, I shouldn't.  I should say those elements compound what is already a pretty serious problem. 

This morning, I couldn't even finish with coffee preparations because I got distracted by school lunches, then in the middle of that I realized I needed to pay the trash bill, and in the process of looking for stamps I decided to update my address book with new addresses accumulated through this year's holiday cards, and then I realized "oh, the coffee!" So I went back to my original task, only to realize that the lunches were half-made, and that I needed to pen a little note to my daughter's teacher, and oh!  Teachers' gifts, where are they?  But look, here's my new calendar ... why isn't it up on the refrigerator?  Oh, but I need to update it first.  Don't forget the tuition check for T and some paper towels ... a note to pick up paper towels at the store.  Damn, I need to finish the lunches!

So, I'm turning my new year's resolutions into a list to organize my life.  Some are tasks, some are lessons, some are tiny little pep talks to myself.  Hey, whatever works.

  1. Organize.  HA!  I had to throw that one in there.  Still giggling...
  2. Finish.  Anything.  Mostly, projects around the house.  The wall in the bathroom has not painted itself in the four years since I painted the rest of the room.  Chances, are, it's not going to happen now.
  3. Family time.  Find a way to turn the everyday moments into fun family memories.
  4. Faith.  God helps those who help themselves, and He is good.  Very good.  Faith is a partnership.  And the rewards are worth it.
  5. Relish the discovery.  I learned a lot about myself  in 2010.  Some of those lessons were gleaned from heartache, some from triumph, and some from nothing more than ordinariness (probably not a word, but you get it, I think).  I also learned a lot about the people closest to me.  A heartbreaking discovery about my daughter allowed me to discover a new, wonderful relationship with her.  I discovered my son was struggling and I discovered I have the knowledge and expertise to get him what he needs, and fast.  I discovered that people don't change and that relationships that are too much work are not relationships at all.  I discovered who my true friends are.  I discovered a level of friendship I didn't know existed with a friend who was willing to drop everything to rush to my side in a dark hour.  I discovered that my husband is a true partner, as he took over my role as "mother" on many an occasion.  I discovered that I'm a lot stronger than I thought.  I also discovered that my "mother's intuition" is fierce.  
  6. Be present.  In whatever situation.  Especially with my children.  This is going to be hard.  I am easily distracted.  See intro above.
  7. Find fun.  I've let myself become bogged down with responsibilities.  I need to make an effort to rediscover having fun and being silly.  
  8. Write thank you notes in a timely fashion.  It is something that I simply cannot seem to manage, much to my poor mother's chagrin.  Which is proof that the failures of the children are not always the failures of the parents.
  9. Remember that the failures of the children are not always the failures of the parents.
  10. Stand up straight.  It makes me look skinnier and does wonders for my "i carried three watermelon sized things in my belly for close to 3 years" gut.  It also makes me feel stronger, braver and calmer.  Positives all around.  Huh, who knew?
That's it.  If I make too many, I'll lose my focus again.  As it is, I can't remember what #1 was.  Oh, organize!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wonderful Jennifer -- thank you for sharing these thoughts with us! Valerie