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I once asked a dear friend of mine how she managed to get through a difficult circumstance without crying.  

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The ABCs.  When she feels emotional and needs to get things under control, she recites the ABCs.  

I tried it.  It works.

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I like to add a vigorous foot bob/kick.  It helps push down the emotions.

Today, I took my dog Tess for her annual checkup.  I had just been to the vet on Saturday with my son's apparently very sick puppy who, after being with us for 2 days, succumbed to his illness while the vets tried to save him.

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The appointment was scheduled long before Bo entered our lives.  Time marches on and life happens and Tess needs to be healthy because I cannot bear to go through another sick dog so off we went.

I can see they recognize us right away.  Pulling up our files, I can see compassion and concern on their faces as they look at each other with a slight panic on how to handle this.

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"Mrs. Gurley, we're going to get you in a room as quickly as possible.  Would you like some coffee?

No one else is being offered coffee.

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"No, thank you, I'm fine."

We are called back.  We discuss Bo without really discussing him.  Tess is displaying some stress due to the situation.  Condolences are offered by everyone.

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The vet leaves us and I remember that we have yet to pay for the visit Saturday.  I'll take care of that today.  Best to get it over with. 

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I won't fall apart in the lobby.

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These people are so kind, so compassionate.  My heart can't handle it.

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Wrangling an 85 pound super spastic dog makes it easy not to think about things.  "I'll go ahead and pay for the other day too, if that's OK."

"Mrs. Gurley, there's no rush."

"I know.  But I'm here, and I want to."

"Mrs. Gurley, how's your son?"

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"He's managing.  Thank you for asking."

It occurs to me that I neglected to tell him about this little technique when he asked how he was going to make it through the school day.  

"Mom, will you print out the pictures of Bo we took?"

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"Of course, sweetie."

I wish I could put his broken heart back together.  Because I can't, I'll just hold him until he can.

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