Monday, January 9, 2017

Snow Days

I would love to be one of those moms who gets super excited about snow days.

I don't.

Let me start by saying that we have been back to school for only a week after a full two weeks at Christmas.  Those two weeks were honestly lovely and I enjoyed every minute.  But, now we are facing a week (potentially -- we're in Richmond, after all) of no school AGAIN and my kids seem to think it's some sort of awesome vacation opportunity.  And it's up to me to make the magic happen.  

Um, no.  I don't do snow.  I know my last post was about magic, but I'm only human and I have my limits.  Snow days are not in my repertoire.  Besides, everything can't be magic all the time.  

Go outside and play.  School is cancelled because THE ROADS ARE TERRIBLE, so no, I won't be driving you to a park 10 miles a way so you can sled.  I'm sorry there's no good hill in our neighborhood but we live in Richmond -- there are few good hills anywhere.  Yes, I grew up in the mountains and everything was a hill so I can imagine it's a bummer but I'm not interested in risking life and limb (mostly life) to make sure you have a magical sledding experience at a hill where everyone else in the metropolitan area is also going to be.  That is, if we don't all die first.  

Why don't we have 4-wheel drive?  BECAUSE WE LIVE IN RICHMOND WHERE SNOW IS INFREQUENT AND WE DON'T NEED IT.

When you say, "you know what we should do?" it makes me crazy because did I mention the roads?  Did you happen to see that snow plow trying to scrape up something...anything...and coming up empty because the road is a solid sheet of ice and it's 17 degrees?  If I survive the road trip over ice to the teeming sled hill across town, I don't want to then lose my fingers and toes to frostbite while you have a magical experience and also try to dodge all the toddlers who are also trying to have a magical experience and crying because they're cold and the big kids keep running over them because there are THOUSANDS of people there.    

My kids were promised sledding today in a nearby neighborhood -- one with a hill.  They got out of bed at 9:00 and began asking when we were going.  It was 7 degrees outside.  And also only 9:00.  But they had been told it MIGHT happen and you know how that goes.  So we ventured out with a friend who was nice enough to offer to drive because she has four-wheel drive, only to realize that every road everywhere is a solid sheet of ice.  Guess what?  Four-wheel drive doesn't matter on ice.  We skidded sideways down a hill covered in ice toward a bunch of middle school kids, and I think I may have screamed MOVE OUT OF THE WAY in a panic while frantically gesturing and trying not to panic my friend who was doing the driving and skidding and was, well, panicked.   We didn't even make it to our destination because it was so dangerous.  So we parked and then panicked some more because if we slid down, would the same thing happen when we tried to go back up?  As we stood on the corner contemplating, we had to jump out of the way of a Cadillac Escalade that was skidding down the hill sideways trying to make the turn and headed straight for us.  One kid lasted a total of one run on the ice covered hill before calling it a day and sitting in the car to warm up.  The others slipped and slid up and down the road exclaiming "AWESOME" while we watched car after car also slip and slide and skid around the corner and up the hill.  When we left, we made it up the hill (whew), only to see 4 cars stuck on the hill in the opposite direction of where we were going.  There were people in the street with kitty litter trying to find enough traction on the ice covered hill to just get out.  

Kitty litter. 

Making magic is stressful y'all.  My heart is not cut out for this.  I am not a risk taker.  As my friend was driving up the hill I was praying hard.  I was trying to be optimistic and encouraging to my friend but secretly I was thinking "HOLY POOP WE'RE GONNA DIE." 

We missed our friends who lived in that neighborhood who we were supposed to meet.  We sledded for less than an hour and I hope to goodness it was magical enough.  Because my magic making days of this nonsense are over.  For real.  At least until it thaws out a bit.

I'm working on a thankfulness journal for this year, writing down something good that happens each day.  Tonight, I'm thankful that I have to work tomorrow and it'll be my husband's turn to make the magic.  He's much better at this kind of magic than I am anyway.
  

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