Some Things You Just Never Expect to Hear Grown Up Parent Self Say

"Get the coins out of your nose."  Followed by "why?"  Because, really.

"Don't lick your sister."  Just don't.

"What do you mean, you sometimes forget to wear underwear?"  I can't.

"I'll be back with crickets and pizza."  The toads are having a party.

"I don't care what so and so does.  If he/she ran out into a busy road and ate dog doo, would you do it too?" A grim example of why being a follower is not a good idea, and one of my parents' favorites.

"Gah, what is that smell?"  Because you don't actually believe YOUR child's room will smell like a small animal died in there.  Not your child.  No way.  Never.

"The dining room is the room over there.  Hint: table."  Giving directions in your own home.  They've lived here all their lives.

"Did you just lick the tire?" My head hurts.

"Nope.  That is not what head trauma is." #lifewithboys

"Because I said so."  Because you said you never would.


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