There He Goes

Will started middle school yesterday.

I have been dreading anticipating this moment as much as he has these last few months.  In my heart I know he's fine.  But he just seems like he's still my baby.  My little baby.  And I cannot bear that he's growing up so fast.

He asked me in the spring (apparently, he had been plotting how to let me down easy) if I could NOT walk him to the bus stop this year.  Well, of course I won't!  He's in  middle school!  He's got a reputation to establish and maintain!  I am not going to be that mom who can't let go!  I KNOW when to let go!  No, my feelings are not hurt (they truly weren't)!  I totally trust you (I do)!  You haven't NEEDED me to walk you to the bus stop for a long time (but I have).

Yesterday, my friend and I spied watched as her son and Will got on the bus, from the safety of her very shaded driveway.  It was more to satisfy my curiosity than anything.  The middle school bus stop has always been a big mystery.  And now the mystery's been solved.

Today, I watched as he left the house, turned the corner, and walked out of sight.  How is it that a kid can seem so small and so big all at once?

And why am I having such a hard time with this?

I immediately came inside and squeezed the 7-year-old nearly to death.  I just needed to absorb the sweet warmth of a little one, to hold on tightly to that child for just a minute... I could bear to let another one go.


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